Ubuntu logoI’ve used Windows for most of my life, but one day while I was looking for icons for a website I was working on, I got a virus so bad that I couldn’t get rid of it. I tried everything, all the cleaners and malwarebytes and everything and it was still there in my system tray, jumping ahead of me when I wanted to get on the internet. It really fucking sucked.

I decided to just wipe the whole thing and, rather than go down the Windows road again, I installed Ubuntu Linux. I didn’t know what I’d get, but I knew that I probably wouldn’t have viruses anymore and that I’d have to start typing sudo stuff into the terminal to make things happen that occur by default within popular operating systems, like making the computer play YouTube.

So I waited for the CD to install and fretted. I make a living with the computer, so this was kind of a big deal for me. What appeared, though, when everything had finished, was this really beautiful screen with washy maroon tones and sharp icons in a sidebar and brown readable menus with orange highlights and everything just looking really good and pro and well designed. I opened Firefox, which came with the system, and, because I had installed something called “restricted extras” (I like restricted things, so I said why not?) YouTube played without a hitch. I tried Second Life, and it worked great. There was an officey productivity suite. Nothing was a problem.

I was so happy, and my machine, though it is three years old, felt like new, just really fast and confident. The only thing I had to do was type some sudo stuff into the terminal to make double-sided DVDs play. I typed it in, and it worked fine. Who knew?

and maybe it’s gray enough to light
the old oil heater. i’m trying
as hard as i can, but this talk
is molasses afterburner

so the space is slow, and i’m hiding.
i thought about pop-up window
news articles with start and end dates set
a few days apart and how

we have to hope that grandma
checked her email in time enough to click
through to the article before it was
gone to a private archive on the admin side

or maybe her daughter-in-law printed it
and mailed it to her so
she could see little jeannie
accepting the science award

there was a photo, even
with jeannie that grandma would like,
but the pop up window isn’t easy
to print, so here’s how:

click on the window and press
ALT+Printscreen keys, then
open MS Paint and paste
then save the image to your desktop

import the image into Word
then print from there.
that is what i thought about
and frogs.

I made some prints that you can download and put up on the walls of your house.

Drapes (potato print)

Tupi Mountain House (pencil and gauche)

Tupi c. 1939 (photographer unknown)

Washy summer (engraving)

Self portrait (digital print)

Well, I was gone for a while. I acted really crazy, bitchy, cryptic, angry with everyone I knew, and one night, I did myself in by pushing the cancel account button — poof, I was gone, everything: the winter palace, the garden skybox, my face, everything I was wearing, my airplanes, my fancy tennis shoes, my robot Minerva.  I was drinking a lot virtual gin, then, and it made me totally insane. Life went on as usual in the land of real picnic tables and highways, of course, but I missed myself. Over the course of my time here, I managed to send off for a few prints of my better snap shots. I framed them and put them up on my real walls. I’d look at those pictures, missing myself, missing the place I’d spent so many hours wandering through. One day, I decided to see if they would let me back in. They had me set up in under 24 hours. I logged in, and there I was, exactly as I had been at the moment of my death. I looked in my suitcase. Everything was there, all the trees, houses, dresses. It seems as though no one really dies here; they just wind up in some deep database coma.

The first thing I did was to set up a little squat in the snowlands. It’s a lot more humble than my previous place, but I like it. I have a cabin, a chair, a futon, and a rug. There are some struggling pine trees in the front lawn. I’m going to try to get the fireplace working soon, because it’s getting pretty cold as we move into winter, and I have a few extra prims for a few more rugs. It’s not too far from where I lived before and it isn’t far from the train, so the location is perfect. I’ll see how long it lasts.


After I got set up, I walked down the hill and caught the train. When I reached the end of the line, I just kept walking, all the way up through Sansera, through the channel on the ferry, and all the way around the Atoll. For days I walked. The first thing I did here when I arrived here in 2007 was to walk the railroad tracks. I wanted to do that again. Walking here is so meditative and orienting. I wanted to get back to that original moment and think about it. As I walked, I asked myself for something to do here. Those who have died and come back often need something to do.

I took some pictures along the way. The mainland is different now, more emptied out, more spacious, more peaceful but a little sad in an autumn kind of way. Places I once knew to be thriving were almost totally empty. Still, some sims remain green and alive. It feels like walking at the end of the world. It’s exciting. I’m glad the Lindens kept me on ice while I was gone.

the rifle on the mantle is a centerpiece.
it’s like there is a rifle on the mantle.
and somebody is saying something about the bullets.
there is a rifle in my wave dreams, and i’m listening to somebody.
like the rifle has a wave in it.
and the wave is huge, like a bullet must be.

i’m watching the rifle in the cabinet.
i’m standing there in pajamas.
i know that it is coming for me,
but i can also duck.
there is a rifle on the mantle.
i know that it is me.

can see the sprinkler, just wait.
i’m going up in the sky, so i have to be warm.
the lights flash on the airfield.
rezz the airplane. just wait.
pilot. the greenhouse in front of me. birds flying around.
maybe i’ll write into a notecard and transfer.
i’ll go a long way.
i’m breathing heavy. there isn’t much left.
i used to walk here, i could barely rez.
oh just a litte beach surrounded by two walls. a campfire.
it’s so …

can you help me to pass the application
for the work..
just give to everybody.. you thin and the persone have to come back here and put the aplication in the box application beside the contest board

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